The Cool Guy

I really want to be that cool guy who doesn't own any social media account. (I still keep my second Instagram account for a 'transitional period'. The reason I keep this sentence will become evident several sentences later.)

Several days ago, using what's left of my online presence, I doomscrolled through Instagram Reels. I stumbled on The Good Doctor excerpt, starring Freddie Highmore. I opened his Wikipedia page and found that not only was he a genius, but also he was a private individual devoid of the ruckus of social media. In that instant, I wanted to be like him.

I closed my X and Instagram accounts. A day later, I closed my TikTok and LinkedIn account. LinkedIn was too easy. People fuss over LinkedIn, frantically updating almost everything there. But I rationalized: I am a lecturer, and the job market for a lecturer in Indonesia is incredibly inelastic. I'm quite (this being the key word) satisfied with where I am. Poof! LinkedIn gone.

WhatsApp was almost a target. I remember several weeks ago, I became aware that Jack Innanen, a guy conceived when his parents made love, not had quick sex, was a very slow texter. He doesn't reply immediately; he even takes days to reply to a text, according to his fellow Adults co-stars. I want to be like him: replying very late to texts. I already am, but the state of not replying is because I procrastinate in replying, not because I am not bothered to check. I still very much am bothered.

In 2021, when I still used my iPhone 6s, I had a plan, exacerbated by the phone's old age, to stop using smartphones after its life-cycle. I had already bought a 'dumbphone' and learned an offline lifestyle from YouTube. I had slowly transitioned my social life to SMS texts. But then! My iPhone couldn't charge, and I was in the middle of my thesis. WhatsApp was a need to communicate with my supervisor. I bought another smartphone.

So, here I am, sleep-calling on FaceTime and writing a blog post. A blog post is fine: It's not instant; nobody can give a comment. WhatsApp is a need exacerbated by our modern reality (in which we are pulled into the office 24/7). But no worries. I compromise. No more social media (for now, hopefully forever). Very late WhatsApp texts.

Cheers!